Three Good Reasons to Donate your Tempur-Pedic® Foam

Artist's rendition of what a very small human might look like on the finished bed.

Reason #1

The satisfaction you'll receive by spending a few minutes of your life to help a complete stranger fulfill his dreams. Haven't you ever seen Pay It Forward?

Oh, and be sure to write something fun on your foam before you mail it in. All foam submissions will be posted to this site. Amaze your friends. Scare your enemies.

Reason #2

What else are you going to do? You're just sitting on your ass (likely at work,) reading this page aren't you? You could be ordering your memory foam mattress sample right now! Plus, imagine how cool the final product will look.

Reason #3

Number three is the icing on the cake. You'll get free preemptive stock options! That's right, after my ghetto-Tempur-Pedic® bed is done, I'll still receive millions of foam samples from caring people like you. Phase two of the Free Tempur-Pedic® Bed Project involves the creation of Fancy Memory Foam Mouse Beds LLC.

Fancy Memory Foam Mouse Beds LLC will craft miniature, fancy-ass pillowcases and then insert said foam samples. As the luxury pet accessory market is booming, Fancy Memory Foam Mouse Beds LLC is sure to make quick millions.

You'll get a preemptive stock certificate (sample) for each piece of foam you submit. After the Fancy Memory Foam Mouse Beds LLC IPO, we'll all retire to the Caymans and spend the night on *real* Tempur-Pedic® beds.

We can't lose.

So fill out the form or call 1-888-811-5053. When you get your free foam, ship it to OSJB - PO Box 49 - Athens, OH 45701. (You can still keep the video if you want.) You can even reuse their container... or just stuff it in an envelope. Two stamps should cover the latter. If you've made it this far, you should know about these other places to get cheap foam (so you can send it to me.) These guys, and this page both offer samples! Do it. Send me all three.

NEW! Tempurpedic foam pics

Your pitcures are up! You got foam. You drew on it. You sent it to me! I took pictures of it and now you can see it. Wow... what a world. Also a lame fourth Tempurpedic page.